Jealousy , is this how we spell it?

I'll be here, girl I swear.

This really does sound sweet. That moment when your partner said this to you,  your mind is all white and all of a sudden it's blank, and you will just smile like a 3 year old kid, cling to him as tight as you can. You don't have to say anything, your actions showed how much you've trusted his words.

All these months, I've learnt that people only promise what they can do at the moment, not the rest of their lives. ' I won't ever do things that you don't want me to ' Yes, boys normally say this to girls. And  yes, for a period, they won't do what you don't want them to do. But , not for long. Some may be a week, a month , probably a year, but nor forever. Don't be shocked or surprised if one day you read his messages or chats, you find him sweet chatting with another person, as if they've replaced you. Well well, you have to accept, none of the humans in this world can keep their promise forever. You just have to learn when to trust them, and when to start suspecting them. But , it's always the best to don't trust anyone.

JEALOUSY is powerful. It makes you suffer, it makes your life go black and while , it makes your life miserable. It's normal to be jealous , it's one of the way for us to improve ourselves. But I simply can't bear with it anymore. I want to take action, but I don't know how. It's like you're in front of your door, you want to move one step forward to get out of your house, but something is stopping you from doing that. What else I can do? Lock myself in my room, listening to songs, that's it, another day has passed, im still in my room, the anger , sad, jealous all mashed up inside my body. Until the next day, the sun rose, but inside myself, it's always so dark so cold.

All those conversations are my little secrets . Although the happiness didn't last for long, but all these  months , the happiness I had, is more than enough.